Bitterflies

You see this?
right up there?
that picture?
Yeah that is probably the best thing i've ever read...
yes I know he says but but he has reasons
and he gives them
and if your wondering why he said that well my friends at school are no longer friends
I vented to him and said I never know who my real friends are
thats his reply
yes i'm lame for taking a screenshot and writing on it but I thought i'd show you just how nice he can be... :]

My Stomach churned in one GLITTERY moment

Yes I used the word glittery,
I don't like that word,
but I must use it...
this"glittery" day that I speak of was Friday...
or Thursday.
it was a normal school day,
blah blah,
Geometry had ended and I was waiting by the door,
for my friends,
and for him...
while waiting
I stared at the doorway when all of a sudden he passed by,
his pass by wasn't just a normal pass by,
it was more amazing than I could comprehend.
while walking by he looked into my class
he looked directly at me,
DIRECTLY!
dude I was caught in my own tracks
I was half tempted to run out that door and talk to him,
but Chorsie (my gay friend Ha!) ruined it.
I was lost in my own head,
oddly enough the song "Beating Hearts Baby" had been playing on my MP3 and I was half listening to it,
mainly to focus on him but also because I only have on ear peice.
Yes the other peice was cut off,
but besides that,
that day was amazing...
except for the fact that I haven't spoken to him in a couple of weeks.
I'll stop him in the hall today at school and catch up,
I hear he is having some issues with a boy named Stevin Butler.
I am getting carried away,
well I have no more "exciting" news
so farewell till next time?

Your honor flushed down the drain

So...
As we all know...
I am...
Insanely tired and upset.
The world of which I call my home has become terrible.
The economy sucks,
thanks to that I have to make my own dress for prom,
which is a good thing I guess,
but I also cannot go to Washington,
but who needs to.
Anyway,
yesterday was Single's awareness day,
yay!
but this pissy bitch,
Jimmy,
was getting pissy with me (obviously).
He had dumped his girlfriend on valentines day so I guess it resulted in a major PMS.
If only everyone could be as perky as me...
then the world would suffer from a bad case of depression...
where does perky come in?
No where!
I am not perky!
I am rather confusing,
ask my friends.
Hmmm seeming as this blog is getting off topic I guess i'll get off topic aswell!
Just recently,
a couple minutes really,
I was IMing my friend Jessie,
she prank called this kid,
whom I hate alot,
and we called him at 1:15 ish.
It was funny,
he picked up,
this early in the morning!
but he hung up on her because she just sat there and giggled.
Hmm if I were her i'd be a chinese lady
"You Wan' Chinee' FOO!"
My insanity amazes me.
Well I bestbe heading off to dream land before my INSOMNIA takes over,
We don't want that do we?

The reasons for her glazed eyes

She sat there...
Broken,
Heart in hand,
Gun in pocket.

A smile strewn across her face,
but nothing else to back it up.
What in this pathetic excuse of a world could possibly cheer someone up?
... nothing.

The girl continued to sit there,
yesterday was her worst nightmare...
Valentines day,
A day for lovers... but who was she to love.

Her luck with men had run out,
her breath become short,
Nothing could stop her now!

She took the gun firmly,
she controlled it this time.
She held it firmly to her temple,
she waited,
once it hit 12:30 her life was taken.

One shot sounded her death.

That night,
a few boys died aswell...
they suffered the same fate,
by the same hands,
The same disease.....
Valentines day heartbreak...

Tough decisions, painful abscissions

My life is confusing,
i'm crushing on two people now,
one in my grade, one in the 10th,
I don't know what to do though.
I dated one but it didn't workout,
and me and the older guy may not work out either,
I just don't know.
I have always liked my ex boyfriend,
even after my whole "I fuckin hate him scene"
but how will I tell him?
I know he likes Jessie (his other ex and one of my close friends) but she likes his friend Spot,
though he does stare at me sometimes, someone even caught him staring at me and when we
talk he just stares directly at me,
I tend to look away.
His friend Spot hated me when we were dating,
he called me a bitch so much, I swear I wanted to hit him.
He always talked about me to him... all the time,
I hated it... but now... I like him so much I don't know,
he didn't really like me though,
so it's hard.
Now me and the older guy....
thats tough,
he's so perfect, nice, attractive, not a liar at all but our age is wrong and I don't think i'm attractive to him...
What am I to do?

An Actual blog of meaning

I want to talk with my blog viewers,
which are none at the moment....
but anywho,
today was a rather rough day.
I cannot go into full detail, so as not to set people off but I was rather depressed.
After going down the Highschool hallway and turning around to see that persons face, I began to walk slower and breathe harder, I believe my blood pressure shot up but what was I to do?
I could not bear to be questioned by him,
he seemed rude to me,
or mean if you'd prefer,
so I avoided him,
I avoided any contact by racing down the hall as fast as possible.
from then on I had listened to depressing music
Ex. Missing - Evanescence, Thank you for the Venom - MCR, Seize the Day - A7X, and so on
but what upset me the most was the fact that only two people cared to ask me what was wrong
(thank you to Heather and Casey and anyone else who may care)
I was abit pissed at lunch,
as I should be,
but once I told Jimmy why I was pissed this girl,
whom I hate utterly,
fell silent and began acting abit more "mopey"
it was rather suspicious but I won't go any deeper right now,
I'll wait till tomorrow... see where life takes me

Her breath was short

She looked around,
All was dead.
Hands and feet Lay before her,
Nothing to connect them.
Weary eyes with a hint a gray,
Scan the room for explanations.
Knife and hair firmly gripped,
Blood stained her vision.
Blind.
Unknown faces entered her head.
Mocking,
Taunting,
Laughing.
She ran down an empty hallway,
Curious eyes followed her every movement,
She was stalked.
She fell to the ground,
She has given up hope.
Her arms shook,
A knife neatly rested in her palm,
She made one swing to her head...
She collapsed.
No more of her to wreak this world,
To take others lives and prosperity,
The world was at peace... but in hell aswell